Christmas this year was a blessing in many ways, including receiving this particular book from my friend Jeni. It is written by a lady named Shaunti Feldhahn. Part of the back reads, "What's going on in there? Even been totally confused by something your man has said or done? ...Grounded in Biblical hope, you will discover how to love your man for who he really is-not who you think he is..."
Its interesting. It has practical advise, which I love. Let me give you an example from today. Today I stayed home with the flu. Jason has always been especially incredible when I'm not feeling well. So, he has a little extra on his plate with work, me being sick and after work duties. After his day at work, he looks forward to going to the pool with his 3 swimmers to do lessons and get in a little workout for himself. So, he comes home at 4:15 with the mail and has to turn around and get to the pool in about 15 minutes. Time is obviously an issue here. Heres the scenario. I had recently discontinued a subscription to a service that was automatically billed to our credit card. I had called them twice (I had to call the 2nd time to undue a payment they shouldn't have made) and at the time, had told Jason about it, no big deal.
So, when he sees my discontentment with the company for making a mistake the third time, he goes into a certain mode. Let me pause here. This mode, I've seen before in the past. It is one that can be caused by several circumstances, not just when I am unhappy. I can tell that he, at that very moment, has a NEED to take care of business. And he means business. And neither Romay, the dog, or myself should question what he is doing. That is how Jason wants it. Well, reality and me being a wife that learns things at times through trial and error, has questioned this 'mode,' before. And well, this book addressed it!! OH, the lights went off, I understand what is going on in his head and well, I just about enjoyed learning about this as much as I enjoyed my first trip to the theater as a little girl!
This mode is one of trust that he knows what he is doing and needs his wife to reaffirm him in his decision. That he is capable of prioritizing and for the wife to trust his judgement. There were other issues on the table at this moment in time (in this case, getting to the pool soon, making sure Romay was ready, etc...FYI-I'm the one who stresses about time and being on time...) So, instead of 'nagging' him about getting out the door, he makes the phone call, without his wife pointing to her watch...takes care of business (much better than I could have anyways) and gets out the door with his daughter in time to get to swim lessons. Before he left I told him how proud I was of him in taking care of this...YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HIS FACE LIGHT UP...He could have just climbed Mt. Everest, in shorts. So...I shared a tip, theres a lot of discussion I totally left out. I thought the story would be of more interest anyhow.